Fly on the wall

Shoot is over,finally.
I am really glad to have been given this opportunity by Kak Hana to meet all these different characters. So this is what production is all about... The drama, the tears, the screams, the inside jokes, the gossips... Someone should have thought of doing the "Behind the Scenes of 'Awie Records'"; I am actually quite expecting 'Awie Records' itself to win at least a few awards this year (it is really really funny and very nicely done-good work team!), but the "Behind the Scenes" footage would have been priceless!
Met some very interesting people, interesting in every sense of the word.
Yeop,the props guy (i don't know how to spell his name correctly-help!) had me in awe. He's always been an avid fan of Malaysian history and the knowledge, facts, theories contained in that head of his is something to treasure. He knows what he's talking about. Unfortunately, he's a very humble guy, and to my opinion, his lack of self-confidence is his main obstacle in life. I think that's the problem with many of us. We think that just because we didn't go to school, we are stupid. Just because we don't know how to do something, we assume we can't do it. Man, i wish i could suck up Yeop's brain-juice for breakfast!
Annahita, who plays 'Julia', is a very intelligent person and she's well-mannered and she's beautiful! So guys, this here is the complete package. Did you know she studied law and doing the acting thing out of passion? She's never seen without a book in her hand off camera, and she is so friendly, and very professional. I wish I could be more like her. Right now, she's my role model.
Even Awie surprised me. I did not expect someone who is nice and friendly, full of (amazing!) ideas, aspirations and life goals. He is, I want to say 'organised' but I don't know if that's him or his PA's doing, so for lack of a better term, I would say he knows what he wants and is not afraid to go for it and has a structured plan to reach those goals. I like seeing that in another person; gives you motivation to go for your own goals. And, he's always smiling! Very dorky smile, but a smile nonetheless!Hehehe...
I have no words to describe Loloq's impact on me at this point in my life. He is an inspiration. He is my Oprah Winfrey. He is such a great conversationalist and very informative. And, he's really so much fun!
I blame selfishness when I say I wish the shoot would drag on for a little while longer.
I enjoyed talking to Abg Mamat (Khalid) on book reviews, he is such a creative and opinionated character! I enjoyed spending time with Adam, Awie's PA/Manager, he's really funny and so calm and collected; a very sweet person. I enjoyed watching Yan (Lefthanded), who showed me the dont's of chatting people up. The key is to look around you and find anything else to talk about but the person you're trying to chat up! Hahahahaha! He had me in stitches with his undercover kek lapis/buah mempelam stories! He is a very interesting person to analyze too, as his brain is always working; he's always having ideas he's willing to share; and he's a very collected person too. Such an amazing person to get to know. Amir helped me study for my exams (C.A.R.T.C.A.R.) and for that I am forever indebted to him!
I am so happy that I met and got to know these people more personally. And I will write stories about them, one day, soon, but not now, because right now, I have to pee.

How???

How do you tell someone you admire that they're actually a difficult person to work with? How do you tell someone you're supposed to hate that you have the innermost respect for them?
It is so difficult to mix business with pleasure. How does one do both and still be liked???
It is difficult to decide on something when other parties are involved.
How do you get people to listen to your side of the story when they're not open-minded to new ideas?
How do you support someone you love when they're down?
How do you encourage someone to be more hard-working without sounding bossy?
How do you become friendly and loving without making others assume you have sexual intentions?

Happiness is...

I am, without sounding ungrateful for my past prosperousness, for once happy. Ecstatic even.
For, for the first time in my life, I am doing what I want, for my benefits.
But am I happy because I'm finally doing it or am I happy because I keep telling myself I have to be happy now that I'm doing everything based on my own decisions??? As in, if I weren't happy, I would be deemed a failure by all?
Is this really what I should be doing or is it what I think I want to do?
I love cooking. My lecturers are great. I am glad I made the decision to continue my studies in Malaysia.
But am I doing it all for the wrong reasons?
My passion is in writing. My mentors are incredible people. I am pleased to be given this opportunity to meet all these wonderful people, listen to, talk with and learn from them.
Am I doing the wrong thing?

Controversial Films

I had a very interesting conversation with the DoP, Husin, on Friday. He is very smart, and very very creative and I am grateful to have someone like him in our entertainment industry. Why do we accept B-rated scripts, stories, etc. from uneducated and ill-experienced people when we have people like Husin in the industry???
Anywho...
We had this discussion about why the Malaysian entertainment industry can't produce good films, ones that can be put in the same rank as "Sepet" or "Gubra", "Perempuan, Isteri dan ...", etc., ones deemed 'controversial'.
The problem is with the Malaysians' mentality, their mindsets. We are not of open minded people.
But I don't get it.
We watch international films. They have kissing scenes, hugging scenes, drinking scenes, sex scenes, etc. The international film industry do that to portray real life.
Our local movies: you get scenes of minah minah pakai tudung, cooking in the kitchen, crying, eating, etc.; you get the many different angles of the pokok kelapa and pokok pisang; you get people taking half an hour to get out of their God damn cars; you get, time and time again, two people dating, always at a hotel restaurant, both, always ordering "fresh orange" (note, not ORANGE JUICE, but FRESH ORANGE!). Is that really real life? Do we not kiss and hug and have sex like other human beings in the world?
I'm not saying that Malaysian movies should show more of men and women humping like rabbits (though it wouldn't hurt! Hehehe...), but there are other ways to show these things without actually showing it. We have the most artistic, most creative people in our industry, and yet their ideas are limited to what 'people want to see'. How can the experienced, intellectual writers 'portray real life' when what the Malysian audience wants to see (in Malaysian films) is not the 'right' portrayal of real Malaysian living?
And its not just sex or nudity. The extend of the ridiculousness of the Malaysian censorship goes even to the titles of movies, to mere words they consider 'inappropriate'.
Are Malaysians so angelic that they would deem the words "Sundal" and "Jalang" offensive?

A Public Apology

I have been trying to find the reason for celebrities acting, no, BEING arrogant for years and have just recently found the answer.

And here it is: they're NOT. Or at least, they don't mean to.

It is like when you were little and you were afraid when a cockroach (I'm NOT comparing celebrities to cockroaches, this is just an example, i'm sorry I couldn't find a better one) crawls up towards you, and your parents say "tak payah takut, dia lagi takut kat awak dari awak takut pada dia" and you stomp your foot on the ground and find the cockroach scurry off hurriedly, probably peeing in its pants if it were to wear one.

I guess being 'arrogant' is like a defence mechanism to them.

When meeting new people, for example, non-celebrities have it easier.

Imagine the other person knowing more stuff about you than you know about them; whatever you do, whatever you say, however you act, will be scrutinised to the finest details.

For non-celebrities, it is an empty slate. We have room for first impressions, we can even lie, or make-up stories about our past, exaggerate details of our current position (if we wanted to la) and the new person would not know the truth. As they say, non-actors make better actors.

By being 'arrogant', celebrities establish a barrier between themselves and the new person (lantak la nak fikir apa, yg penting kamu tak kenal siapa saya sebenarnya...). The new person ASSUMES his arrogance and makes up a (biased) opinion on the celebrity, based on how the celebrity is acting.

Do NOT make assumptions.

And do NOT let hearsay validate your opinion on other people, celebrities or not.

And do NOT assume the above is right for everyone. It is just my point of view.

Here's my public apology for a certain celebrity (you know who you are- and I would LOVE to mention your name here to make the apology more official, but I don't want to 'promote' my blog just because it has your name in it) :

This has been a wholesome experience. I apologise for harassing you and your team, to the point that my complaints were removed from a certain webspace (ah, the power of technology...)

I DID make assumptions about you before I found out what you're really like, and who you really are.

Second hand rumours circulated and I bantered you with irrelevant questions and am ashamed of what I did.

I am indebted to our mutual friends for having opened my eyes and giving me the chance to analyse my actions and consider you as a fellow human being.

I guess it was MY defence mechanism to EXPECT you to be arrogant and unfriendly and thus MAKING you arrogant and unfriendly. I am humbled by your patience.

I am thankful to you, for this journey, for without it, I wouldn't have known myself better, either.

Thank you for making the entertainment industry ROCK!

In

It is in him that I believe
It is his 'in' that I respect

Proud to be a Malaysian

Why can't we be proud of all things Malaysian? Why can't all things Malaysian be something we can be proud of?
I have friends from all over the world, and their level of patriotism astounds me. We see it in movies all the time, in Hollywood films, mainly, (and here's another cause for concern- watch locally made movies, for God's sake!)of how proud Americans are to be Americans.
Why can't we be more like that? Its funny how we're so "Americanised" in all other senses but the loving our own country part, we discard.
We have films produced as good as theirs, better even, I think. Why can't we watch these instead of popularising those Hollywood movies?
Why do we wear baggy trousers, exposing half, if not all of our undergarment, with chains on our necks and a skewed cap when our baju-baju kebangsaan are stylish and are in abundance? You don't think they're stylish? We are creative people, us Malaysians,make them stylish, start by wearing one!
Why do we have to talk like the Americans, using an extended version of "wassup" instead of our own "apa khabar?"
Why do we take up breakdancing and hip hop when our traditional dances are beautiful?
We have customs and traditions people, they don't! Be proud of what we have!
We have great leaders, politicians, writers, actors, singers, etc. Use them as role models. Have faith in our own people.
Why isn't Tunku Abdul Rahman thought of as well as George Washington?
Why can't you read Dan Brown AND A. Samad Said ?
Take down that poster of Brad Pitt or Paris Hilton and replace it with one of Afdlin Shauki and Harith Iskander or Ida Nerina.

Please note, I am not criticising the Americans or America, I'm just using them as an example.

It is great to learn English to expand your knowledge, but first, know how to use Bahasa Malaysia correctly.
It is fun to watch Hollywood films, but first, support our local entertainment industry. The reason why they have not 'reached international levels' is due to the lack of support.
Read more Malaysian books, wear more traditional clothes (or, as a start, don't look at those who do, weirdly!), learn to love Malaysia!(you already love the food!)