Sigh

Ya Allah, frustrating nya!!!

I was at a shopping centre earlier and had to walk up and down the foyer a couple of times coz I tend to get lost very easily anywhere anyway, but then I started to notice that three different sound system blared across the whole stretch of the foyer, playing three different songs, simultaneously.

And here is where my frustration built up:

The first sound system was playing 'Jujur' by Radja and the second was playing a Peter Pan song. Now although these songs are great and the bands, talented, I find it difficult to accept that Malaysian songs,in Malaysia, played/sung by Malaysian bands do not get as much airtime compared to the Indonesian bands.

Cause and effect: play Malaysian songs on air, (on radio stations, in shopping malls, etc.), they get recognition, people start to enjoy them for what they are (which is great music!), and thus Malaysian songs get played even MORE on air.

Do the same with Indonesian songs and you get the same results. But why do we need to do that when our songs are just as good, our bands/singers are just as talented (some even more so)?

The third sound system played a Christmas song (okay fine, I understand, you want people to get in the spirit of Christmas, bla bla, bla, or maybe the management of the shopping centre wanted mat salehs to feel 'at home' or something-which is kind of stupid, cause if you go overseas, they won't celebrate Raya as festive as we celebrate Christmas, so why do we need to do that???-but okay, takpe, I'll let that one slip), but here's where I had to take a long breather: the song they played had the following lyrics booming in and all around the third end of the foyer: "...praise Jesus, our Lord..."

These words were played repeatedly as they were part of the chorus (very convenient)!

And little kids were mouthing these exact words, without actually comprehending the meaning!

I was, and still am, speechless.

And what got me even more frustrated was the fact that when I went to comment to the management of the monstrosity of the effect the music they were playing for their customers had to the Malaysian people, all they could muster in response to my disappointment was to ignore the point totally but (tried to) encourage empathy in the lack of cds they were given to play! Apparently, these were the three cds they had and so these had to be played on and on and on in a loop, repeatedly, the whole day long!

Should I just give up?

Life's Lessons

Life is all about learning. Some people learn fast, others are slow-learners. But everyone learns.
Sometimes you have to learn how to unlearn and relearn. Sometimes things that you think you know may have been true and appropriate at the time of you receiving this information, but as time passes by, the data changes and things you think you know are no longer true. That is why you should never stop learning. If you learn something new that contradicts with your old belief, just unlearn and relearn.
I learnt a new thing about friendship today. I’ve always thought that a friend was supposed to be someone who accepts who I am.
This is no longer true.
A friend is someone who expects the best of you. They expect you to do what you say you’d do; hold you accountable, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally; expecting you to perform the best and provide the best. A friend expects you to challenge them with your example.
Somebody whom accepts you as you are doesn’t really care about you.
There are people out there that you know, who’d call you in the middle of the night and you’d be able to help them with whatever they need, and vice versa, and yet these same people will not give two hoots about the things you’re excited about. This is when you know you need new friends.
We act like the people we hang around with. We tend to do the same things, eat the same things and believe in the same things.
Friends are the most influential individuals to you.
I learnt that I have to make the right choice in making friends, because what I’m actually doing is choosing the person I want to become.

Ramblings

I'm so frustrated. No, disappointed. I am disappointed. Sigh...
It's sad. So sad. How could this have happened? How could have everyone just watched and not have done anything about it?
I hope it's not too late to make a change.
I'm ready.

The 90/10 Principle

Have you heard of this? I got this through an e-mail a couple of days ago.

Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life. What is the 90/10 Principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react. What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How?
By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example:
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened. What happens next will be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terribly. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D. You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened:
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time." Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both started the same.
Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle:
If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off! Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.

I hate my IT classes. I often skip it. I see no point in someone wanting to become a chef learning the definitions of ROM and knowing how to spell it. No doubt we'd be using computers, and the practical classes are deemed informative, but the theory classes I find useless. Last week we were assigned our first ever coursework for IT for the final exams in December.
It took great effort, sleepless nights, determination, procrastination, then back to "let's just get this over with!" for me to finally finish the 37 pages worth of crap.
I got all excited all of a sudden, tried to print the document and found that, to cut a long story short, the printers weren't working.

Breathe...

Apply the 90/10 principle.

Breathe...

I couldn't do it.

Tomorrow, I plan to go to the cyber cafe downstairs to print my document, hand it in, and hopefully, never have to see it again.

Oh, and I hope someone will eventually clean up the smashed up printer pieces from off the floor, for I'm sure as hell not going to do it.

Fly on the wall

Shoot is over,finally.
I am really glad to have been given this opportunity by Kak Hana to meet all these different characters. So this is what production is all about... The drama, the tears, the screams, the inside jokes, the gossips... Someone should have thought of doing the "Behind the Scenes of 'Awie Records'"; I am actually quite expecting 'Awie Records' itself to win at least a few awards this year (it is really really funny and very nicely done-good work team!), but the "Behind the Scenes" footage would have been priceless!
Met some very interesting people, interesting in every sense of the word.
Yeop,the props guy (i don't know how to spell his name correctly-help!) had me in awe. He's always been an avid fan of Malaysian history and the knowledge, facts, theories contained in that head of his is something to treasure. He knows what he's talking about. Unfortunately, he's a very humble guy, and to my opinion, his lack of self-confidence is his main obstacle in life. I think that's the problem with many of us. We think that just because we didn't go to school, we are stupid. Just because we don't know how to do something, we assume we can't do it. Man, i wish i could suck up Yeop's brain-juice for breakfast!
Annahita, who plays 'Julia', is a very intelligent person and she's well-mannered and she's beautiful! So guys, this here is the complete package. Did you know she studied law and doing the acting thing out of passion? She's never seen without a book in her hand off camera, and she is so friendly, and very professional. I wish I could be more like her. Right now, she's my role model.
Even Awie surprised me. I did not expect someone who is nice and friendly, full of (amazing!) ideas, aspirations and life goals. He is, I want to say 'organised' but I don't know if that's him or his PA's doing, so for lack of a better term, I would say he knows what he wants and is not afraid to go for it and has a structured plan to reach those goals. I like seeing that in another person; gives you motivation to go for your own goals. And, he's always smiling! Very dorky smile, but a smile nonetheless!Hehehe...
I have no words to describe Loloq's impact on me at this point in my life. He is an inspiration. He is my Oprah Winfrey. He is such a great conversationalist and very informative. And, he's really so much fun!
I blame selfishness when I say I wish the shoot would drag on for a little while longer.
I enjoyed talking to Abg Mamat (Khalid) on book reviews, he is such a creative and opinionated character! I enjoyed spending time with Adam, Awie's PA/Manager, he's really funny and so calm and collected; a very sweet person. I enjoyed watching Yan (Lefthanded), who showed me the dont's of chatting people up. The key is to look around you and find anything else to talk about but the person you're trying to chat up! Hahahahaha! He had me in stitches with his undercover kek lapis/buah mempelam stories! He is a very interesting person to analyze too, as his brain is always working; he's always having ideas he's willing to share; and he's a very collected person too. Such an amazing person to get to know. Amir helped me study for my exams (C.A.R.T.C.A.R.) and for that I am forever indebted to him!
I am so happy that I met and got to know these people more personally. And I will write stories about them, one day, soon, but not now, because right now, I have to pee.

How???

How do you tell someone you admire that they're actually a difficult person to work with? How do you tell someone you're supposed to hate that you have the innermost respect for them?
It is so difficult to mix business with pleasure. How does one do both and still be liked???
It is difficult to decide on something when other parties are involved.
How do you get people to listen to your side of the story when they're not open-minded to new ideas?
How do you support someone you love when they're down?
How do you encourage someone to be more hard-working without sounding bossy?
How do you become friendly and loving without making others assume you have sexual intentions?

Happiness is...

I am, without sounding ungrateful for my past prosperousness, for once happy. Ecstatic even.
For, for the first time in my life, I am doing what I want, for my benefits.
But am I happy because I'm finally doing it or am I happy because I keep telling myself I have to be happy now that I'm doing everything based on my own decisions??? As in, if I weren't happy, I would be deemed a failure by all?
Is this really what I should be doing or is it what I think I want to do?
I love cooking. My lecturers are great. I am glad I made the decision to continue my studies in Malaysia.
But am I doing it all for the wrong reasons?
My passion is in writing. My mentors are incredible people. I am pleased to be given this opportunity to meet all these wonderful people, listen to, talk with and learn from them.
Am I doing the wrong thing?

Controversial Films

I had a very interesting conversation with the DoP, Husin, on Friday. He is very smart, and very very creative and I am grateful to have someone like him in our entertainment industry. Why do we accept B-rated scripts, stories, etc. from uneducated and ill-experienced people when we have people like Husin in the industry???
Anywho...
We had this discussion about why the Malaysian entertainment industry can't produce good films, ones that can be put in the same rank as "Sepet" or "Gubra", "Perempuan, Isteri dan ...", etc., ones deemed 'controversial'.
The problem is with the Malaysians' mentality, their mindsets. We are not of open minded people.
But I don't get it.
We watch international films. They have kissing scenes, hugging scenes, drinking scenes, sex scenes, etc. The international film industry do that to portray real life.
Our local movies: you get scenes of minah minah pakai tudung, cooking in the kitchen, crying, eating, etc.; you get the many different angles of the pokok kelapa and pokok pisang; you get people taking half an hour to get out of their God damn cars; you get, time and time again, two people dating, always at a hotel restaurant, both, always ordering "fresh orange" (note, not ORANGE JUICE, but FRESH ORANGE!). Is that really real life? Do we not kiss and hug and have sex like other human beings in the world?
I'm not saying that Malaysian movies should show more of men and women humping like rabbits (though it wouldn't hurt! Hehehe...), but there are other ways to show these things without actually showing it. We have the most artistic, most creative people in our industry, and yet their ideas are limited to what 'people want to see'. How can the experienced, intellectual writers 'portray real life' when what the Malysian audience wants to see (in Malaysian films) is not the 'right' portrayal of real Malaysian living?
And its not just sex or nudity. The extend of the ridiculousness of the Malaysian censorship goes even to the titles of movies, to mere words they consider 'inappropriate'.
Are Malaysians so angelic that they would deem the words "Sundal" and "Jalang" offensive?

A Public Apology

I have been trying to find the reason for celebrities acting, no, BEING arrogant for years and have just recently found the answer.

And here it is: they're NOT. Or at least, they don't mean to.

It is like when you were little and you were afraid when a cockroach (I'm NOT comparing celebrities to cockroaches, this is just an example, i'm sorry I couldn't find a better one) crawls up towards you, and your parents say "tak payah takut, dia lagi takut kat awak dari awak takut pada dia" and you stomp your foot on the ground and find the cockroach scurry off hurriedly, probably peeing in its pants if it were to wear one.

I guess being 'arrogant' is like a defence mechanism to them.

When meeting new people, for example, non-celebrities have it easier.

Imagine the other person knowing more stuff about you than you know about them; whatever you do, whatever you say, however you act, will be scrutinised to the finest details.

For non-celebrities, it is an empty slate. We have room for first impressions, we can even lie, or make-up stories about our past, exaggerate details of our current position (if we wanted to la) and the new person would not know the truth. As they say, non-actors make better actors.

By being 'arrogant', celebrities establish a barrier between themselves and the new person (lantak la nak fikir apa, yg penting kamu tak kenal siapa saya sebenarnya...). The new person ASSUMES his arrogance and makes up a (biased) opinion on the celebrity, based on how the celebrity is acting.

Do NOT make assumptions.

And do NOT let hearsay validate your opinion on other people, celebrities or not.

And do NOT assume the above is right for everyone. It is just my point of view.

Here's my public apology for a certain celebrity (you know who you are- and I would LOVE to mention your name here to make the apology more official, but I don't want to 'promote' my blog just because it has your name in it) :

This has been a wholesome experience. I apologise for harassing you and your team, to the point that my complaints were removed from a certain webspace (ah, the power of technology...)

I DID make assumptions about you before I found out what you're really like, and who you really are.

Second hand rumours circulated and I bantered you with irrelevant questions and am ashamed of what I did.

I am indebted to our mutual friends for having opened my eyes and giving me the chance to analyse my actions and consider you as a fellow human being.

I guess it was MY defence mechanism to EXPECT you to be arrogant and unfriendly and thus MAKING you arrogant and unfriendly. I am humbled by your patience.

I am thankful to you, for this journey, for without it, I wouldn't have known myself better, either.

Thank you for making the entertainment industry ROCK!

In

It is in him that I believe
It is his 'in' that I respect