This funny feeling...

It is so funny how just when you start to think you want to start over, create a whole new life, leave the past behind, and then someone comes along and reminds you of every little thing that you did wrong, everything you said that hurt people's feelings, everything you did that led them to believe you were hopeless, and the memories come rushing back to you like a tidal wave, and all they did was say hello.
You feel as if your stomach's churning, your breath becomes shorter, your throat's constricted and the room's spinning.
You feel as if everyone around you knows your story and they're pointing at you and laughing.
You feel as if no matter how hard you try, nothing will have meaning in your life ever again.
You feel like vomiting, but you haven't eaten anything since morning; you want to pee, but you're dehydrated.


Allah, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference...